THE CONFIDENCE BLOG
This blog is based upon a Facebook live session i delivered. Many brothers and sisters in the Ummah feel they have a lack of confidence in their dawah styles and generally in life too. I hope these following tips would help them overcome this. A Video complimenting this blog is available upon request:
As in a lot of things in life, I always take an unorthodox approach to confidence building techniques!
Right now I feel supremely confident.
Be it on the streets of London, be it presenting, be it delivering a halaqah etc.
But I wasn’t always like this!
When I was a boy I was the complete opposite. I was an extremely shy boy.
My confidence began building up,first by hanging around amazingly cheeky brothers. Then the Dawah stall experience. For many years I used to literally stand and give out flyers and avoided discussion with passersby. Then i began to speak up more and then…slowly but surely i felt comfortable & i began moving around the stall and approach people with zero fear!
Then came the big change.
I was a street a fundraiser and a trainer for 8 years. In these 8 years I picked up many skills and I felt supremely confident. In all spheres of life.
The following I believe could help you in your journey in becoming in life:
We should get into public speaking and in public situations again and again to desensitize fears. The more you put yourself up for speaking in front of a crowd the easier it will get. The very first time you do this, you will be a bag of nerves. But when you go through this grieving process a few times, it most definitely gets easier and your confidence grows. After this tough experience, you take this new-found confidence everywhere and anywhere!
Go through the stages of nervousness,fear and sweat.These powerful emotions and feelings will keep recurring,it will happen 1,2,3,4 times but then eventually at the ninth attempt you’ll feel like you are the most confident person in the world. The sweat will whither away, nerves shall vanish and you will actually begin to enjoy giving lectures!
Put yourself out of your comfort zone. Challenge yourself!
At first you will sweat, this is guaranteed.
You will Panic, you will hate it. But keep at it!
Whether its presenting something at University,or your home or even online, keep at it! Keep doing it. The mistakes will decrease. It gets easier..and behold.. you’ll actually begin enjoying it!
Love and enjoy ‘REJECTIONS’ because whenever you give dawah you’ll have to face this and it is a Sunnah
We should embrace rejection.
Rejection won’t physically assault you and leave you for dead! It’s just a reaction and that’s all. Look forward to getting rejected or ignored. If you apply your mind to this, you will see how you will naturally become more confident in your demeanour! Rejection is your friend! Learn to love it!
Daaees should love rejection and challenges,it’s actually fun playing this game of getting rejected. Treat it as a game! 😀
DROWNING IN THE OCEAN OF MAYBENESS
you have to act brave strong and confident, don’t sink in the ocean of maybe ness. Just go ahead and say the truth. Thought’s like : ‘’ if i say this to him, or if i do that, then MAYBE he will get angry, MAYBE he will hate me, MAYBE he will get me arrested..these MAYBE’S are just going to drown you and stagnate your progress in whatever field you are in.
Be more and more random. Start having small chats with random people. With the waiter at a restaurant. The taxi driver, shopkeeper, the maid, anyone you exchange a few pleasantries with, turn it into a conversation. This will add to your repertoire as a generally all round confident individual.
DON’T FEAR PEOPLE’S WORDS AND REACTIONS
❗Dont fear what people will say just go ahead with what you want to say! Thier verbal reactions are Mere words! You fear mere letters coming out from the mouths of limited, fallible human beings?! Have a Fear of Allah, not his creation.
Come on reflect upon this deeply.. These words cannot harm you at all. No words can adjust or impact your feeling with out your permission. Go forth and ahead with what you want to say, in a group discussion, delivering a presentation or engaging in street Dawah.
❗Ignore the looks and reactions fear the one who made these reactions💯.
So are you really going to let a mere look. A screw face or a raise of an eye brow, put you down? Of course not! These looks have a limited power. Don’t let a negative look upon you get you down in any way!
Never worry about what people think of you. I simply don’t let their opinions of me affect me whatsoever. I remove all thoughts of what they MIGHT think of me. Be your own, be yourself, be different!
LOVING THE NO!
❗Its not a big deal if someone say ‘NO’ I don’t want to listen to you.
Don’t worry, come back at them again with unique ways. Don’t let this deflate your confidence. NO is a maybe in disguise and a future yes!
Try and surround yourself with extroverts. Connect with very outgoing people. Their natural confidence will slowly rub off on you.
FEAR ALLAH SWT NOT HIS CREATION
Have a deep fear of Allah swt ! Once this is ingrained within your soul, you’ll soon see every human as mere limited mortals. Human beings cannot harm you, psychologically or physically with the permission of the lord of the worlds!
‘ La Hawla Wa La Quwwata illa BillAh ‘
There is no power and no strength except with Allah!
In a Dawah stall situation or presentation in front of a large audience. Remember that there is no greater power in life than the power of Allah. Live by this mantra throughout your whole life. This will give you courage and bravery like no other.
This Should be your personal mantra for life. Really internalize this.
I hope these very brief tips will Help you become confident & that it improves your personal, professional & Dawah life!
Jazak Allah Khair